September 2011
18 posts
Boyfriend: Little known fact: the early success of the beatles with such love-inspired songs as, "All you need is love" can be attributed to Dumbledore magic attempt to subconsciously give Harry the tools to beat Voldemort.
Boyfriend: Unfortunately for Dumbledore, like so many of his generation, Harry was primarily listening to the Spice Girls, Chumbuwumba, and Smash Mouth before the Battle of Hogwarts
Boyfriend: That's a pottermore fact I hear
“I bet the bible was just an extravagant way to cover up the powerful wizard...”
– Boyfriend
“If the centaurs raped umbridge as is implied in the movies would she just have a...”
– Boyfriend
“If I were Snape I’d get a painting of the Mauraders made just so I could...”
– Boyfriend
“The first magic-talking-paintings must have been indistinguishable from one...”
“Going back to the zoo Nagini, why did it speak Spanish if it was from Brazil? It...”
– Boyfriend
“How the hell did Nagini live so long? They have a 30 year lifespan. I bet...”
– Boyfriend, who has a cat name Wicket.
“What the hell did Nagini do when Voldemort was dead-ish? Maybe she took Spanish...”
– Boyfriend on how big fucking snakes survive.
Boyfriend: When Harry, Hermione and Ron were traipsing about the woods for what seemed like half a decade why didn't they just stay high on that potion that makes you happy?
Me: Um.. they needed to focus?
Boyfriend: Bullshit. Just give it to the person wearing the locket so they don't try to kill themselves.
Boyfriend: Plus if it's too hard to make, they could have just used the potion that makes you not care about your feelings anymore: alcohol.
Boyfriend: And as far as needing to focus with that...well I've known some drunks that weren't necessarily focused, but they certainly didn't get all angry and abusive.
“Why didn’t Voldemort use boggarts as a weapon? Seems like it would be one...”
– Boyfriend on Boggarts
“Do you think he could instantly see those things in the magic eye books because...”
– Boyfriend on Mad Eye Moody
“Wait, so having more than one wand makes your spells more powerful? Why the fuck...”
“The perfect disguise for Voldemort would have been a pair of those glasses with...”
Boyfriend: How do boggarts reproduce?
Boyfriend: One's worst fear would have to be getting raped and pregnant, the other's worst fear would have to be raping someone.
Boyfriend: And then what if your worst fear is losing the baby when it's inside you?
“Why didn’t Voldemort get a magic nose? Mad Eye had a magic eye. He’d...”
“Do they ever say what Neville’s patronus is? No? Well I say it’s a...”
Boyfriend: Poor Voldemort. He just wants to clean shit up and he gets fucked over at every turn.
Me: Well he wants to exterminate muggles.
Boyfriend: Clearly they're not very nice or he wouldn't be an orphan.
Boyfriend: Besides, he'd keep a few of them around as slaves. You couldn't have wizards doing everything. That would be insane.
“How do boggarts know what your worst fear is? I mean, do they have a failure...”